Let me
preface this by saying right up
front - this is NOT for
everyone. The key is that my
situation was friendly enough to
still communicate with each
other after we split. My ex-wife
and I agreed that our kids were
certainly worth that! And we
still have to deal with one
another until they are through
college. This is offered as a
life experience only and not
intended as legal advice. As
such, this may not apply to you.
After 25
years of marriage, I decided
that I did not want to be
married to my wife. We had
drifted apart and in the last
few years, things were getting
worse. We had little in common
anymore... including friends. By
and large, mine were different
from hers. She would go away on
her weekends and I would go on
mine. Other than our children,
whom we both love very much, we
were just a couple living
together. She is still a good
woman, just not one I wanted to
be married to. There had to be
something else... Sound
familiar?
As our
situation unfolded, she retained
an attorney early on and we
began negotiations in earnest
within a month of separation.
Sure we had our differences! But
with an open line of
communication available, we (her
attorney and I) talked out our
problems and came to an
agreement within a few months.
I felt
confident in representing myself
after performing a few hours of
research on the internet. And
you bet, I was prepared to bail
out and get an attorney too. But
having done the research,
nothing that came up was a
surprise at all. I was very
pleasantly surprised and amazed.
I found that many things were
already prescribed by statute as
being pretty cut and dried.
Child support? Maintenance? In
NY, where I live, it was a
matter of using past incomes to
arrive at an appropriate level.
The method and level were
already set.
When it
seemed to be all sorted out, I
went to an attorney that a
friend recommended highly. He
had an offer of the first
consultation costing only $50.
for a one half hour conference.
All I did was take the agreement
to him for review. At the
consultations conclusion, his
exact words were "It seems that
you have a pretty good handle on
this. If you can get this signed
and executed, you don't need me.
Just call me if anything
changes." Frankly I was
overwhelmed! I had just saved
$3,000. minimum! Money that
could be used to put MY kids
through college, not his!
I don't
really know how unique my
situation was. Hence, I do
credit some luck on my part, as
I said in the article summary.
But it wasn't difficult.
I have
performed a few legal services
for myself in the past such as
setting up a corporation,
partnership, and purchase
agreements. I believe that a
person of reasonable
intelligence can save an
incredible amount of money on
legal services, if they will do
the research and use the
preprinted legal forms that so
many attorneys use themselves.
It helps if you have gone
through similar situations in
the past. But had I ever had a
divorce? Heck no! I had been
married for over 25 years.
But here's
the catch, I don't have a degree
in law either! I urge you to not
take this as a slam on
attorneys. They have an
excellent purpose in society, in
spite of the jokes. I had the
comfort level that allowed me to
proceed beyond what even I had
anticipated I could. It won't
work for everyone. Certainly,
not everyone has that comfort
level. It worked for me.
As a result
of his life experiences, the
author, George R Devendorf, was
able to save several thousand
dollars in legal fees. As a
result, Mr. Devendorf has
created a website to help others
that feel able to represent
themselves in certain legal
matters.
http://www.GotLegalHelp.com
offers downloadable legal forms
that are the same forms used by
attorneys themselves! Whether
your issue is Divorce,
Incorporation, Last Will &
Testament, Prenuptial Agreement,
or Bankruptcy, GLH forms are
available for most states.